the door into presence is always open. the goddess breathes her sweet breath from inside this door saying, "come. come closer, come closer." the door she is opening for you is in the experience you are having right now.
pay close attention.
notice the sensations in your chest, in your pelvis, in your hands. feel the flavor of your emotions, the rhythm of your thoughts, the subtle details of your experience. this is your door in. it's up to you to enter it - or not.
- chameli devi ardagh
When I read the quote I have shared above I think of my yoga practice. It has been a gift in my life - my door into presence.. I also get flashes of different times that students or potential students have tried to explain to me why they can't/won't do yoga. Their words usually form sentences along the lines of, "not flexible enough, not strong enough, no balance, I couldn't do the pose we tried last week." However, the feeling behind those words is that they are uncomfortable, and don't know how to sit within that space. They are choosing to not enter that door... We can tend to seek familiarity in life, in our relationships, in our bodies. Even when that familiar feeling is the opposite of our said desire, or even destructive. Pushing outside of that comfort zone and into new territory can be scary. Especially when you think every other person in the room has their shit together, and knows what to do.
All of this is true even outside of yoga, but as a teacher of yoga there is something that I always hope to get across in my teachings. Which is that your experience of yoga is the right experience. The sensations that you feel in your body during a pose is the truth of the matter; its not that a pose should make you feel certain sensations. When you play in poses with curiosity, verses judgement, you get a chance to learn about a piece of yourself. Yes it might be intense, or challenging - physically or mentally - but your response to that is where the experience lies; that your door to presence. Yoga is not about nailing the pose, or which poses you can or can't do. It's about embodiment. It's about embracing each sacred piece of yourself - because all of your pieces are sacred. It's called a practice because you get better at it the more you do it. Not just on the outside, but on the inside as well.
Personally, I don't practice yoga to become enlightened. I practice yoga to love my humanness. To realize the strength my humanness gives me. To recognize my weaknesses so that I know when to get support. To become resilient. I practice to be present with what it is.
[Life's] about peeling away the prince's armor and loving the human down below. It's about wiping off the princess's make-up and loving her divine humaness. It's about finding romance in the naked fires of daily life. When our masks and disguises fall away, real love can reveal itself. Forget fair tales - the human tale is much more satisfying. We just have to learn how to get turned on by humanness. (Unknown)
The door is always open. I made the choice many years ago to enter it. So, now it's up to you...
in humaness with you,